"Safe" is relative......

My two sons are returning tonight on a red eye flight back from an adventure trip from Alaska. Normally I would have worried about their flight, I am always anxious while flying. I would have worried about them finding their way all alone and by themselves. I would have worried about them kayaking in 32 degree ocean water.......the what ifs! What if they fell in; what if they got wet and froze; what if the whales tipped them over; what if what if what if. They hiked and camped in the wilderness amongst the bears. I would have worried for them. What if they got attacked. What if they happened to amongst bears and didn't know it. They climbed up vertical walls of ice and they were lowered down into deep deep crevasses and had to climb up and out. All of this would have worried me to death. Because I know that my sons are daredevils and they will do anything and take on any challenge. They are risk takers. If they are to climb 50 feet, they will stretch it and go beyond..just to do it.
But, I felt content with them in Alaska. I knew they were happy and I knew they were safe. They were safe from all of the peer pressures that I cannot protect them from....try as I may.
They will be coming back tomorrow. Lucas will be going to college in 2 or 3 days. He is leaving for U.W. Madison..a Big 10 school, known for it's partying. Lucas did his fair share of indulging this summer with his fellow graduated classmates. Kids his age really don't know how to drink They want to be so grown up but they are really immature when it comes to such things. They do not realize their own mortality and they do not think "things" can happen to them. Benjamin will be heading back to the University of Minnesota in a week and it is the second largest school in the Big 10 behind Ohio State. It is huge. When he first arrived last year I remember him telling me how much the kids drank and how they did it pretty much nightly. Those words are words that make me cringe. Alcohol, cigarettes, pot....other drugs are so available and so socially acceptable...more than I realized. When I was a high school kid, only the "hoods" did the drugs. If someone else did do them, it was kept quiet. Now, all the kids do it. There are no lines to cross. There is no safety when it comes to this behavior. And, I cannot make my kids safe, only their choices can make them safe. Benjamin also has a "crotch rocket" Kawasaki motorcycle. He likes the speed. It is so dangerous. Another thing that I cannot protect him from, only his choices can or can't make him safe.
You see, natures "dangers" seem to natural or normal when I think of all the human inflicted crap that kids have to live through before they make it to adulthood. I am not the most religious person in the world, but I pray. I pray for my kids safety. I am not sure who hears my prayers, but it is something I need to do. Maybe it is more of a stress reliever for me to pray, I am not sure. All I know is that I love my kids, I love kids and I want them to enjoy this time. However, this is the scariest time of all for me as a parent. No one and not one thing could have prepared me for how stressful it is to be a parent of a teenager. I always thought people "just said that" because they thought their kids were naughty or something. The bottom line is that it is a hard cruel world that these teens have to live through. It is hard to stand up when you are standing alone. I taught my kids and they know what is right....however, people don't always do the right things. Therefore, I pray. I love my kids. And tonight, I will pray for their safe flight home and I will wake to their smiling face at the airport.